No question about it, dude. Games rock. If it weren't
for games and partying, I'd be one bored dude.
Hey bros. This time I am reviewing Blades of Stenchtar
II: Escape From Stenchtar Mountain.
Warning: this is all one long spoiler.
So, I'm sure you all remember where we were at the
end of Blades of Stenchtar the first, right? Yeah, so
BoS II picks up where BoS leaves off, pretty much. Our
dude Oinktoast is chillin and basking in his glory.
Instead of headin to some killer beach to catch some
waves, though, he's hanging out in Stenchtar making
clothes for all the famous dudes and royal dudes and
stuff. The trouble begins when Oinktoast gets like this
MAJOR stomach-ache. And I guess they didn't have any
pepto-bismal or something, cuz he has to go figure out
what is going on with this bodacious seer and Wizard
dude. So he finds out that the bad guy, Gloatherd, survived
being eaten by Oinktoast when he was in artichoke form
and now he's waging like total war on the Oinker's stomach.
(Man, I know that feeling, dude... last time I ate a
large "Dudebrough Deluxe" pizza and topped
it off with a six pack of grape soda.) So anyway, our
man Oinktoast has the wizard give him a potion that
will help him fight Gloatherd. So he takes a bath in
it and finds himself in his own stomach!! Gnarly!! The
cutscene finally ends and then so does the whole game.
I feel waayy confused.
This was definitely not the kind of game I was expecting
as a sequel to the way radical Blades of Stenchtar.
In that game, you did stuff, you know? Like, you killed
lots of rats and collected this junk and had a final
major face off with the bad-dude. It was an awesome
example of a perfect RPG. In BoS II, you kinda just
watched it all happen. I mean, it was totally like one
big long cutscene or something.I mean, it was still
completely awesome. I love the part where Gloatherd
is like, summoning creatures of doom made from Oinktoast's
baloney sandwhich. That totally rocked. And the graphics
were great, and the dialog was cool. But I sorta missed,
I dunno, DOING stuff.
I DID find a secret unlockable mini-game you can play
if you watch the main game through six times on the
"hard" difficulty setting. It's pretty cool.
You control a little Oinktoast moving through this maze
trying to beat up pieces of stuff he ate for breakfast.
And rats, too. There are rats in the dude's stomach?
Guess he must've ate them whole like a big snake. Awesome!
It's mega-fun. Bummer its in 2-D. And only takes a fifteen
minutes to finish. But its little secrets like this
that totally make the BoS franchise utterly rule.
Anyway, if you are a fan of the first BoS you should
totally play BoS II. I mean, there's got to be a sequel
right? Can't just leave the Oink-dude hanging in his
own stomach. And probably you need to know what happens
in this game so you are all on-top of things for the
Rating: Sicker than most.