Dude! This is totally it, dude! This is where all my
hard late-night poker training and skipping classes
totally pays off. The Telltale
Texas Hold’em tournament is upon us! I haven’t
slept for a week! I’m so nervous I could freakin’
There’s gonna be some stiff competition, too.
So like, my bro from the Imperial Palace gave me all
that dirt on the competition awhile ago, but meeting
these dudes face to face is gonna be waaaaaaaay turbulescent.
But these dudes got nothing on the Dudebrough, man!
I am so way ready to meet them, face to face, on the
felty green field of battle. This is my ticket to ride,
dude! Once I beat these dudes and win the mighty pot
of love, I am flyin out to somewhere sandy and wet,
and there I will stay. Or maybe I’ll like, tour
the world in search of the most monty radical waves.
And then I’ll do nothing but surf all day and
party all night. I’ll wake up every day with killer
hang-overs, have some tasty toaster pastries for breakfast
and play some computer games, then cart myself down
to the beach and catch some waves with my crew until
my legs like, barely work. And THEN I’ll have
some chili dogs for dinner and make my way to the kegger
down the beach and drink beer until I puke.
Awww…yeeeaaahhh…it’s gonna RULE!!!
Dude, I cannot WAIT!
Some of my crew and I are totally takin a trip to sunny
California for the three day weekend next week dudes!
That's right...I am so gonna be soakin in the rays
and surfin on the surf. We're gonna party till dawn
and surf till we drown dudes. It is gonna RULE! I hope
we have enough money for gas.
Dudes, you'll never guess what happened to me....
That's right, I TOTALLY qualified for that huge Texas
Hold 'Em Tournament! Awesome! In just a few weeks I'll
be competing to win the grand money right here in Las
Vegas. And you know what I'm gonna do when I win?
That's right, I am TOTALLY getting out of this bogus
desert and headin to the coast to catch some real wave
action. I am totally through with hanging around in
a town where the biggest body of water is the puddle
of drool on my pillow when I wake up in the morning.
Now I just have to play some cards, pack my trunks and
wax my board dudes. College was never my style anyway.
I am too cool for school, yo!
Hello again Dudes.
I totally flunked my Eco-History of the U.S. exam today.
Bummer. But its not really my fault. I mean, how can
I concentrate on school work when I have my poker skills
to practice? I have a qualifying tournament coming up,
duh. If I play my cards right, I could get out of here
for good and find myself on a real beach. Oh, hey, that
was totally a pun! Awesome!
What a bummer dude...
So I hear about this killer party, right? So I ask
my old man for the keys to the wagon and he totally
won't hand them over. He asked me why I would want to
go party when I could be at home studying. So I was
like, what kinda question is that, dad-dude? I mean,
seems like it should be pretty obvious. And besides,
it's not like I'm in high school anymore. I should get
to do whatever I want. And he was like, "Well,
Theodore, its my car so I can do whatever I want with
it. And what I want is to leave it parked in the driveway."
So I went back to my room and played some more Stenchtar.
Man, talk about totally harshing my mellow.